…without pretending everything’s fine when it isn’t

Ever had one of those mornings where you wake up grumpy and just can’t shake it off? Have you ever got up in an irritable mood and, no matter what anyone else says, you can’t bring yourself to see the positive side of things? When something causes you a problem does it sometimes make you feel that everyone is against you? Sound familiar?
The good news is you don’t need to dive headfirst into the problem to start feeling better. Here are five ways to turn your mood around without having to face the issue that made you feel bad in the first place.

1. Speak up for someone who isn’t in the room We’ve all been there, suck in a bit of gossip and it’s easy to get swept along. Next time, try being neutral – or even sticking up for the person who isn’t there. I dare you. You don’t have to start a debate. Just let other person know that, objectively, there could be two sides to the story and unless the person who is the subject of your gossip is able to tell their side, why make assumptions? You’ll feel better about it and be less tangled in other people’s dramas.

2.  Do something generous (big or small). When you’re in a miserable mood, being told “some people have it worse” isn’t always helpful. But when you are feeling negative it may be difficult to change your mood to appreciate that fact. Giving to charity or doing a good deed for someone who needs it has a spin off for you. It gives you an automatic natural feeling of excitement and satisfaction, and will brighten up someone else’s day.

3. Laugh at something daft. Yes, even when you don’t feel like it. Especially then. Stick on a funny film, a classic comedy, or call that friend who always makes you giggle. For me, a Carry On Film works every time. Laughter is a natural mood lifter and a stress buster. It’s hard to feel miserable whilst you are laughing. Try it. And laughing is infectious so you are likely to make someone else feel better at the same time. Go on, crack a smile, even a small one.

4. Think before you snap. Tempting though it is to fire off that snarky comment or passive-aggressive text when you’re in a mood, just pause. Words land harder than we think. And once they’re out there, you can’t claw them back in. Try the old “if I can’t say anything nice…” rule. You don’t have to fake cheerfulness. Think first and if you haven’t got anything positive to say, then try keeping quiet. (Yes it’s hard, I know.)

5. Skip the moaning (just for today). Having a vent now and then is human. But if you find yourself grumbling about everything from the weather to your Wi-Fi, to the news, try holding back for a bit. Ok, whinging about the weather is allowed, but limit yourself to once for today. Negativity spreads fast and complaining can make you feel even more stuck and fed up. As a manager I once agreed with a staff member about what a bad day they were having. My boss took me to one side and pointed out that it wasn’t my job to make people feel worse. I thought I was empathising! But I soon felt the atmosphere change round when I started to be positive and gee folk on. So I never did that again. If something’s genuinely not right, be constructive. If it’s just a bad moment? Let it pass without wasting your energy on it.

So, chin up and shoulders back. Negativity doesn’t get to write your next chapter, you do.
Brenda

You’re between chapters and this moment matters more than you think.